Unlocking the Joy of an Alcohol-Free Lifestyle: Changing Your Mindset

Recently, the fabulous and talented singer Adele made a comment during one of her stage shows that got me thinking about how her status and popularity as a global music artist can influence those who are in the early stages of changing their relationship with alcohol or perhaps even sober curious.

The negativity of her comment could literally impact thousands of people who are trying to improve their lives.

She said,

“I stopped drinking…maybe, like, three and a half months ago.

It’s boring.

I mean, oh my God, it’s boring!

I was literally borderline alcoholic for quite a lot of my 20s, but I miss it so much. I cut out caffeine as well.

So, enjoy your whiskey sour. I’m very, very jealous.”

Clearly, Adele has not yet ‘done the work’ and has a severe case of FOMO! (fear of missing out).

I understand that everyone’s journey is different, but mindset plays a big part in changing any problematic behaviour.

To quote Dr Wayne Dyer,

‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.’

I admit some challenges come with quitting alcohol. If it were easy, there wouldn’t be the need for services such as AA or the myriad of coaching and recovery programs available worldwide. Apart from the social pressure and conditioning during our lifetime, while drinking, our minds and bodies have become accustomed to pouring a toxic liquid into it to stimulate the chemically induced dopamine ‘hit’ that gives the initial feel-good ‘high’. We now have to retrain our neural pathways to seek satisfaction elsewhere.

Our neurotransmitters are so out of whack that finding the balance and regulating our nervous system takes time.

Personally, my physical symptoms were limited. Fortunately, I just had a little trouble sleeping for the first week or so. One of my (false) beliefs was that I needed alcohol to help me sleep. Little did I realise the actual truth was that alcohol was impairing my quality of sleep! There can also be psychological symptoms – anxiety, moodiness, and cravings. Still, with the right support and, of course, EFT or Tapping, symptoms can reduce pretty quickly (depending on your level of addiction). However, this is where ‘doing the work’ starts.

In the early days of ditching the booze, when you are focused on not drinking just for that day and when ‘wine o’clock’ comes around, it is helpful to have a toolbox of resources to ‘add in’ to help support and sustain your new, healthier habits. For me, it was taking my dog for a walk, playing a board game or my (still) favourite, having a bubble bath when the wine witch came calling! (I discuss other alternatives in my Find Your Freedom coaching plan).

But after those tapered off after the first few weeks into my quit alcohol quest, and perhaps after the ‘pink cloud’ lifted at around six months, I was confronted with another challenge.

Filling the Gap – my Nemo moment of ‘Now What?’

I realised that when I was drinking, I was also using alcohol BECAUSE I was bored. It was so easy to reach for a glass of wine at that time of the day when I was about to prep dinner or later in the evening watching TV because it gave me something to do while sitting on the couch. However, I also told myself that I was ‘busy’ with work, family, running a household, etc (all the excuses!) and didn’t have time, so I needed my wine as my ‘me time’ to relax. Really, I was just numbing out to fill a void in my life that I hadn’t yet addressed.

You see, you’ve got to ‘do the work’!

But quitting alcohol frees up even more time for you – literally hours per day!

You immediately get back time once lost to:

Entire evenings numbed out on the couch staring at the TV or mindlessly scrolling on your phone
Extra hours lying in bed trying to sleep off the poison in your system
Countless unproductive hours the following day due to low energy and low mood

So perhaps if you are used to being busy and constantly ‘doing’, all this free time may present as boredom. Maybe, as a restless, creative, this is where Adele sees herself at the moment.

This is where ‘adding in’ new activities can bring your life more value, happiness, and joy. I call them “ING activities”, which can be anything from cooking, writing, sewing, knitting, gardening, reading, walking, running, painting, you get the idea. Whatever brings you joy, think back to what you liked to do as a child.

I began to appreciate my sobriety and new lifestyle and discovered what author Catherine Gray described in her book as “The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober”.

As I’ve mentioned in previous blog articles, some activities and experiences I’ve tried that I never would have imagined doing whilst drinking included Dragonboat racing, stand-up paddling, learning to meditate, Tai Chi and Qigong, crystal bowl sound healing, bush walking, creative outlets such as macrame and painting, ecstatic dancing, not to mention starting a business, developing new skills to help others, and generally enriching my life and nurturing my soul.

**But ‘What about the Social Aspect?’ I hear you ask!**

Drinking less or no alcohol can be a game-changer socially for a bunch of reasons. Firstly, you can actually remember the conversations and moments from last night’s get-together instead of waking up with a fuzzy memory. Plus, it’s easier to stay in control and not embarrass yourself in front of friends or colleagues. When you’re not sloshed, you can engage in more meaningful and authentic conversations with people instead of slurring your words. And don’t even get me started on the hangovers, especially in menopause - less booze means less misery and more time the next day. So many amazing alcohol-free drink options are on the market today, and the range keeps getting better and more prolific! So, there’s no need for FOMO, just ‘Keep the Ritual, Change the Ingredients!’

Challenging your beliefs, and primarily those of our alcohol-centric society, around what alcohol brings to you as opposed to how living alcohol-free can be more fulfilling, not to mention healthier for our one and only body in this lifetime, is worth ‘doing the work’ and shifting old thought patterns to create better health, emotional, physical, and mental well-being.

I no longer feel any boredom but appreciate the stillness.

Perhaps Adele should get herself a copy of Catherine Gray’s fabulous book. It may just take away some of her boredom.

How I can help you with EFT...

As a Grey Area Drinking coach incorporating Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or Tapping), I can help free you from what has been holding you emotionally captive.

I can help you address and release the emotional contributing factors that led to your unhealthy relationship with alcohol or other self-sabotaging behaviours.

Releasing these negative emotions can help make it easier to maintain your sobriety or reach other health goals, as you will have the tools required to successfully navigate the stressors of day-to-day life and challenging thoughts.

Book an EFT “TASTER” BUNDLE of 4 sessions and break free of limiting beliefs and what’s holding you back from living your best life.

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